Rejoice Always.

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

Dear Friends and Family,

First of all, we would like to sincerely thank each of you that have showed care and concern for us throughout our adoption process.  We have felt tremendously encouraged by each of you.  Indeed, our journey has been filled with peaks and valleys, and we appreciate you sticking with us along the way.

Many of you know that Henry and Hayden were born on October 22.  We were absolutely delighted to welcome them into this world.  Christi was even able to be in the operating room with the birthmother as well as privileged to name the babies upon delivery.  It was an incredible experience to say the least!  Because they were born six weeks early, the boys have been in the NICU for the past 13 days.  Overall, they have been healthy, but they have needed to grow a bit before being released from the hospital.  We were able to spend quality time with them in the NICU every day since they were born.  Getting to know these boys has been such a joy.  They are incredible!  As you can imagine, we quickly fell in love with these boys, and it felt so natural to expand our family by adopting Henry and Hayden.  The doctors and nurses told us that the boys were on track to come home today.  We were very excited to bring them home and adjust to our new life together.

The details of the adoption were working out just as planned.  The boys were born, the birthmother signed over legal guardianship to us, and all of our plans were in place.  Unfortunately, with deep sadness in our hearts, we will now not be bringing Henry and Hayden home.  Our adoption attorney called us on Friday afternoon to tell us that the birthmother changed her mind and decided to keep the boys.  We were utterly shocked and devastated by this.  As a result of the birthmother’s decision, our efforts to adopt Henry and Hayden have ended.  Though we love them dearly, it is clear to us that it is not God’s desire for us to be their parents at this time. 

It’s safe to say that the past two days have been the deepest valley that we’ve ever experienced.  We are heartbroken and confused.  While we have so many questions about the whole situation, we are extremely confident in at least a few things.  One, we believe that God’s plans for us are perfect (James 1:2-3).  Two, we believe God’s plans for us include a bright and hopeful future (Jeremiah 29:11-14).  Lastly, we know that God is not finished with us yet (Philippians 1:6).  Consequently, we look forward to what He has planned for us.

We would really appreciate your prayers for us as we struggle through this.  More importantly, please pray for Henry and Hayden.  It is our deepest desire that they are raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Again, we express our gratitude to all of you that have encouraged us throughout our journey. 

7,300…Diapers?

So, we’ve been reading a lot of material lately on what it’s like to raise a new-born.  We’ve learned so much, and our eyes have been opened to a host of shocking realities.  Perhaps the most surprising statistic that we have come across relates to the amount of diapers we can expect to go through in the first year.  The standard rule of thumb seems to be 10 diapers a day.  A simple calculation of 10 diapers a day would look something like this:  10 x 365 = 3,650.  Oh, mercy…that’s overwhelming!

Evidently, only by God’s providence, we must now consider a new calculation…even more overwhelming.  Here’s what it looks like:  10 x 365 x 2 = 7,300.  We have to double the amount of diapers in the first year, because it appears that God has doubled the number of babies we are going to adopt!  Indeed, we are pleased to announce that we are planning to adopt twin boys that are due this November.  We are beyond excited, deeply grateful, and totally scared out of our minds.

We were first exposed to this potential lead at the beginning of July.  When we learned about it, it was very unclear to us if it was a serious possibility. The details were foggy at best, and we dismissed the idea in our minds because we heard nothing else about the lead over the next month.  All that changed two weeks ago when the adoption attorney called us and said that the birthmother was ready to seriously consider placing these children with an adoptive family.  We had about 72 hours to decide if we wanted to pursue this opportunity.  So, we prayed and sought council from those close to us, and we felt at peace with moving forward.

Over the past few days, we have had the privilege of personally meeting with both the birthmother and birthfather.  Those meetings went as well as we could have expected, and all parties seem to be on the same page.  It was very special for us to hear both the birthmother and father articulate the fact that they feel like adoption is the best way they can show their love for these children.  It is certainly no small decision for the birthparents to make this decision, and we feel honored and humbled by the opportunity to raise these children in a loving environment.

As you can imagine, the last two weeks have been a complete whirlwind for us.  In many ways the whirlwind has just begun.  Although it has been hectic and will become even more so, we are amazed by God’s provision and direction. His plan is being revealed right in front of our eyes, and it’s been a blessing to observe.

Christi was able to go with the birthmother today to her doctor’s appointment.  Both Henry Banks and Hayden James seem to be healthy at this point.  In fact, they each weighed 1lb. 14oz. Although the due date is November 30^th, we anticipate the babies being delivered at least a couple of weeks early. 

So, now the real planning begins.  We would certainly appreciate your continued prayers for us as we plan for their arrival.  We’ve created a sign-up sheet in case you might be interested in helping us tackle the 7,300 diapers.  Any takers?

Hard * Healthy * Hopeful

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.” Philippians 4:6 

This blog update is entirely overdue, and we apologize for this delayed post.  However, there is some rationale behind our lack of blog activity regarding our adoption process.  The reality is that there has been very little change in our status since our last update.  We are still in the “waiting stage,” and we really are not sure when we might receive our little boy.  So, we continue to trust that God will allow this to happen in His timing.

To be dead honest, the waiting part has been much more difficult than we expected.  In many ways it is like a pregnancy with no due date.  We’ve prepared ourselves (as best as we can) and our home for his arrival.  So, on one hand we have spent a lot of time thinking of “Henry” as already a member of our family.  Yet, on the other hand, Henry remains a big mystery.  We’ve never met him, and we don’t know when we will adopt him.  This emotional tension has been tricky to handle. 

          While the waiting process has been tough on us, it has also been healthy in many ways.  One, we have had ample time to plan for Henry’s arrival.  Our friends and family have been extremely generous in providing so many “baby essentials” for us.  It has been really encouraging to see God provide for us through these people.  Two, this process has really stretched our faith.  We still believe that God is urging us to pursue adoption, and we remain convinced that He is in full control of our situation.       

Indeed, we find ourselves extremely hopeful in this process as well.  This verse in Philippians that we mentioned above has provided enormous reassurance to us.  It implores us to tell God what we need.  We’ve done that…pretty much every day for the last several months.  So, He definitely knows.  The verse also tells us to thank Him for all that He has done for us.  This points us to the Cross, which helps take our focus off of ourselves.  Keeping this perspective is not easy, but when we acknowledge what Christ has done for us, our wait seems rather insignificant.

Many of you have expressed your support for us through our adoption process.  Thank you.  Your support has been so meaningful.  We hope to introduce you to Henry soon!

Blake & Christi